Those were the highlights of my days, in pink in my spreadsheet. And the thing is, having kids is not like when a man leaves you. In that crisis scenario, you are left with the hope that you can start again. In the kids scenario, you cannot put them back up your vagina where they came from. It’s done. Permanent. And people without kids resent when you tell them that not having kids is a selfish choice. Maybe they are right. But for sure, once you have kids, it is much more difficult to be selfish. You have seen my spreadsheet, and I was one that used to take pride in my endurance threshold. I had worked in investment banking! I was one that constantly gave my best shot at things. But you have seen what my days were like. Unworkable.

And the nights. The nights were purgatory, constantly waiting to be admitted to hell. Admissions were random………



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